What's on my mind?

Sorry friends,

Just wanted to say that it's been a while since I've blogged and I've had so much going on. I want to thank my good lady bud, Mrs Kerrie B. for reminding me that I haven't blogged in awhile. Thank her for this one. LOL!! In all seriousness though, I would go about my days, have some thoughts, write them down (or at least attempt to anyway) and then come up with a really good blog. Never happened. So many thoughts, so many moments, so much of this, so much of that. Yeah, that's all been on my mind these days.

I tried at first to keep my blog page open to just my running moments. Mostly, my races. I've been encouraged by my friends on "Dailymile" to get a blogsite going for my race reports. Well, I got the site up, but no races yet.... until now. On Saturday, April 7, I'll running a local 5k in the NE part of the county I live in. I got connected with this run through a friend I met on DM. For $12, I thought, what a steal. Also, and if things work well in my favor, I have the Mayfest 10k as well on Saturday, May 5 (cinco de Mayo) in Ft Worth.. I'll be moving the weekend before, and with packing/unpacking I'm not for sure if I'll get in on this run or not. On a good day, I can swing a 10k in about 55 minutes, maybe less. My best time I've had, and I really don't count this because it was "training" and not on a race day was 53 minutes flat. So hind sites 20-20, I could swing this run in just under and hour if I had to. Meaning, I didn't train like I wanted to, but showed up anyway for the fun, friends, and food (my 3 F's as I call it on race days).. We shall see.

In other good news, as far as my running goes, I'm pretty much back at it like I was before I got injured. I prematurely ran above my certain distance last week, and much to my surprise, nothing bothered me. For now, the sports doc had me limited to no more than 6 miles at a time when I run. Ok, I don't think an extra .20 miles won't hurt, so a 10k it is. I like that distance anyway, so what the heck. Last Friday evening, I went for 8.3 miles and felt no pain at all like I just mentioned, so something is working well in my favor. Please note to all my peeps that like to kill my buzz by saying "be careful" and "don't overdo it now"... I gotcha covered. I know my body better than any of you. So, when I feel something, trust me!! I STOP. I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy. Or, I might be dumb, but I ain't stupid. I'm sure you've all heard those expressions. I'm definitely on the comeback trail as I like to call it. I even changed my profile name to "Comeback Kid" on Dailymile. My new goal as I posted was "To stop holding myself back". This alone has give n me some kind of new lease on how I train, workout, etc. Feels good to be honest with you. Another DM friend said I now have to earn this name. You bet your ass I'm gonna earn it.

My goal this passed week was to get my old "baseline" average miles per week. Which in the past, was 30 as I got passed the "rookie" phase of my running, which then was between 15-20 miles per week. I didn't quite make it. But still, I made some of my own progress along the way, and that is something I can be proud and not settle one bit at all. This week brought a damper in not just my training, but in my family. As I have always said, I put my family first before my running, or any other type of fitness. My wife, Stacie has a much older sister that was born with multiple disabilities. From physical to some mental as well. For most of her life, her sister Brenda, has been in a state school and has been well taken care of. The doctors have said, she would not make it passed the age of 20. That was almost 31 years ago. She will be (and I say that loosely) 51 this summer, providing if she makes it to then. Long story short about my sweet sister in law, she has gone downhill for the last 2 years. It all started when the doctors put a trach in her to aide in her breathing. Back in 2010, the doctors took her off of it, and was expecting her to go right then and there. It was like being on "baby-watch", the family didn't know what or when this was going to happen. Amazingly enough, she has fought the toughest fight for the passed 2 years. Needless to say, she is tired! We got a call this week saying that the family should consider making plans for her memorial, so off to Lubbock, Texas we went. Let me back up for a bit and let this paragraph sink in for some of you... I mentioned that she was not make it passed 20 years old, that was 31 years ago. Also, that she was expected to be gone 2 years ago after she was pulled off her trach, um she's still around. To my doctor friends, if you can give me some kind of explanation for this, I'd love to hear it. Otherwise, I am praising my Lord and savior for this miracle.

I'm no doctor, but I am a believer nonetheless. Judge me if you must I don't care, that is your business, I respect you all the same. I understand when our time on earth is up, it's up. I'll never when I'll draw my last breath, or when the second coming of Jesus is going to happen. I'm very optimistic about it. So when I see my dying sister in law lying in the hospital room, I know I can't make the decision to say, don't let her suffer anymore, but I can pray for peace in the family. This weekend, I saw a man (my father in law) care deeply about his beloved daughter. It was like seeing a parent watch a young child suffer from cancer as he/she is holding on for everybody. Again, we never know when our time is up, but selfishly, we fight to savor every last minute to every last second we can for those who we want to stay around a little longer. I'm sure if I were in my FIL's shoes, I would be doing the same thing.

Here's Brenda before she started going down hill. Full of life. I never got the privelage of meeting her during this time of her life, but her smile says it all.

Here's Brenda as of today (March 17, 2012).

My wife and her big sister. A moment we will cherish

And "daddy" giving his sweet angel a kiss on the forehead.



This weekend has been another great lesson in life for me. One I will take with me as I someday reach fatherhood myself. As I sit in my hotel room writing this blog, I can't help but think about what is going on with my sister in law as she is helplessly lying in the bed at the hospital.. FYI... I forgot to mention, she is in fact under HOSPICE care. Today, the attending physician came in today, and really gave peace to my inlaws about "quality of life".. That's what it's all about right there. Honestly, if I were in a situation like this, I would never want to suffer myself. If my quality ever goes down, and I know I'm tired, please pull the plug. I know asking first and foremost, my wife to do that would be devastating, but I'm at peace with that. Have been since I was 21 when I gave my life back to Christ. That's another story, I'll share with later...

Gosh, so much has gone on, that these last few weeks have been a big blur. I just know with this weekend's experience, and my life in running motion have given me some of life's challenges themselves as of lately. I've been so happy to take them on. I know I've got some good things on the horizon for me. Not just me, but my whole family as well. In a nutshell, that has been on my mind. Till then, just keep moving.

Good night