November 1-30. Thirty days where people have made an often fun and rewarding challenge of saying one thing everyday for the month of November of what they are thankful for, and post it via Facebook. Better known as the "30 Days of Thankfulness". I myself participated in this last year, and then decided not to do it this year. Unfortunately with this challenge, I heard complaints from family because I never mentioned certain family members of why I was thankful. Some people just complain because they complain. Oh well, deal with it!! So. I decided this year I wasn't going to justify myself and let others win, so I participated. To make everyone "happy", I showed my grattitude to certain individuals first just so they can get their spotlight and be done with. Didn't happen. Still heard the complaints. As I pondered about it, I realized I am thankful for those complaints as well. I say that because it made me appreciate the negativity in my life and how much I needed to get rid of it. So I did!!
This month, started out very exciting as I was thankful for changes of the season, friends, family, the basics at first. As the challenge continued, I was trying so hard not to repeat myself, and luckily I didn't. As many of my close friends know, my wife and found out back in mid October that we were expecting our first baby. Knowing that I was a proud father to be, I was beyond excited. The first couple of weeks after us finding out about our pregnancy, we were met with some complications early on, and weren't for sure what was happening. Started with us not knowing exactly how far along Stacie was, and blood levels not "jiving" with how far we thought she was, etc. etc.. So thankfully, one week in early November, we met with the OBGYN and we determined we were roughly 4 weeks. Ultrasound even indicated the baby was doing great and I was very thankful for that. Thankful that my future baby was healthy and mommy to be was doing good too. As the 30 day challenge was going on, I indicated how extremely thankful I was for that.
That little dot was mine and Stacie's precious angel growing. Sorry for sounding like a broken record, but I was grinning from ear to ear that day. As the weeks passed by, mommy to be was having difficulties. From spotting and bleeding almost everyday. Started out little then slowly got heavy by the following week after this U-Sound pic was taken. We made the decision to visit the ER to see what was going. Sparing the details, I'll make it short, we had an unfortunate miscarriage. That night was one the most difficult nights of my life to ever experience. To make a positive notion out of this, we decided to not let this get us down, and that there will be another chance for us to try for another baby when the time is right.
As unfortunate as this was, that particular day, I notated on FB that I was indeed thankful for my loving wife, Stacie. For 7 years roughly, including the time when we were just friends, to when dated, got engaged, and now married for the past 4 of those 7 years. She is my soulmate, and as emotionally painful as it was for us to go through what we went through, this brought us closer together. We spent a good time in grief, which slowly led to anger, and how now ended with a sense of peace and yet closure as well. We believe wholeheartedly, there will be another chance, and I'm sure by then, this memory of our first pregnancy being a loss, will be a distant memory.
As the month of November continued, I soon felt like there was no point to continue this challenge. I stated up above that we felt some peace, but there is still pain there. As other friends were thankful for the lives they had, I suddenly felt like I saw nothing else to be thankful for. Who wouldn't? We had our moments of tears and sorrow, just giving it time as all have said to do. So we are.
In other news, I'm a week away from running my 4th half marathon at the Dallas Marathon, formerly known as Dallas "White Rock" Marathon. I'm not going to mention my goal, as I've done in my passed blogs, and I wind up choking on my words. So, with that, I'm just going to show up Sunday, as I do for every race and just RUN. If I set a PR, it's set. If I finish in under 2 hours, then I do. Throughout the course of my training, this race is actually a training run in itself. In February, I plan to attempt my 2nd full marathon in Fort Worth at the Cowtown Marathon. This half I'm rolling out next Sunday will be a mere jump start for me to get a baseline going and get more distance runs in as part of my training. I'm confident this will all pay off in the end.
Now that December is upon us and the season is Tising to be Jolly, I am looking forward to a wonderful Christmas. More to come next weekend when Sunday the 9th becomes an EPIC day in itself.